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Sister Wives 3: The Regeneration

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On 30/8/2017 at 9:09 PM, Indifferent Ignorance said:

I miss when it was busier here too. Sandra, what's your predicament? I love that word.

late reply, but it still applies hahah - but basically just me getting myself involved in boy drama haha D: and yea it's still relevant I'm afraid!

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Gonna try to make it short... Might not happen tho. I ramble a lot. Now you're warned xD 

 

Right, well, you probs know that I have a boyfriend at home? That's all good and well.

But me being me (with my irresistible baby face and adorable Danish accent hahaha), I was obviously bound to find myself getting in too deep with someone down here at some point. It only took a month! This dumbass that I met at my housemate's birthday party a month ago. We talked and he was being real dumb (in that cute/funny way ya know). But I didn't really think of him as all that attractive or anything (he has a beard. I don't like beard! yet apparently I do, I guess), although I did have a feeling that he might've been interested bc by the time almost everyone had left, he started to be all like "you cold?" and offered me to crawl under his arm. But I know myself. And I know that i get carried away way too easily for my own good. So I just lied and said that I wasn't (we were outside, it was night, it was winter, and the bonfire had almost burned out - obviously I was freezing my ass off). But yea. So we just continued talking about randoms for another hour or so, until he (as the last person of all) got an uber at 3am. Since that day we've been talking on fb/snap every day. And I've seen him three times since (would probs have been more, but I've just been on 2 weeks holidays). And yea. Thing is, that within the first week of our talking every day, somehow it all escalated and he started being all cute and making allusions, and I actualy enjoyed it a great deal. Was inevitable for things not to happen. 

 

Thing is, that I actually thought things were different this time, with the boyfriend I have at home. I thought that this time I wouldn't go ahead and jump headfirst into trouble. But as I've found out, the only thing that's probs been different is that I hadn't been outside of the country alone until now. Bc I seem to have this "curse" that no matter where I go in the world, I always get into trouble. 

 

And it kinda sucks bc I'm worried that I'm sorta falling for this stupid ass aussie. And it's just so typical of me! 

 

And please don't start to think badly of me. I'm really not a bad person, I think, even tho it maybe sounds like I am :(

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No judging, it happens. Do you want to go out with this new guy? If you do, you should probably tell your boyfriend and end it with him. Even if you don't want to, it sounds like you have problems with your boyfriend at home? Maybe you should talk things over with him about your relationship anyway.

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We won't judge you twinneh! It's not an easy situation being far away from everyone and everything, and falling in love is natural. Hopefully you manage to decide what you want. But we (at least I) do support you anyway, and we are here (and on messenger :P ) if you need to talk :) 

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thanks <3 I'm happy you aren't judging me. Means a lot, bc I have a lot of friends who would :/ 

thing is, I really don't know what I want... I mean, I'm only here for one semester (for now at least). And I have a 3 year long history with the one at home, and only known aussie dude for a little more than a month, so don't really know if it would be worth it. Especially seeing as I'll be leaving in just a few months and don't know when I'll be coming back :/ 

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If you think you have serious feelings for this new guy, you should tell your boyfriend and end things. But, if it's just a little infatuation, you should just tell this new guy that you have a boyfriend at home and you don't want to go further than being friends. 

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Urgh why is my anxiety so bad?

I submitted an application for a job yesterday evening, and I'm so anxious at even the thought of an interview that I barely slept last night. I really need this job but even if I get an interview I feel like I'll let myself down by being so nervous. 

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I love Christmas!

I know I could have done the job which is the frustrating thing, but I'd have also melted down in the interview and just embarrassed myself. The condition of me cancelling it was that the next phone call I made was to the Dr so I can start sorting my anxiety etc out. He wanted to put me on anti-depressants ?

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I dunno much about mental health but I do know that when I have experienced depression and anxiety they've definitely been two different brands of shite, albeit two that often hang out together. I've had a lot of help with anxiety just by talking about it with people who listen (the broke person's CBT I guess), is there any counselling available? I think if I'd tried to medicate the anxiety away it might've helped the symptoms but not the cause, but it's your call of course.

I love Christmas too, but I'm so poor I've started buying gifts already to balance out costs, and I'm promoting my Etsy stuff for Christmas which is like shouting very loudly into a room of other people shouting. Send me to new year and a nap. :blink:

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