Dia

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130 Awesome

About Dia

  • Rank
    †✞Bella Muerte✞†
  • Birthday June 29

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    http://devanmickell.com

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Brooklyn, NY
  1. Same. I haven't yet really figured out what I believe in terms of what "ghosts" are though. It's hard for me to say if they're just some kind of imprint on the environment (so not an actual thinking person that is doing things, but more like a physical memory of a person that affects the environment) or if they're actual sentient spirits. There's scientific evidence that supports the imprint in a magnetic field theory, and in terms of what I believe (I'm a Buddhist and Taoist), that doesn't conflict with it. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, so it only makes sense that when we die, whatever energy that was contained is dispersed. But it seems hard to be able to then say that whatever makes us "us," our soul or whatever you want to call it, can be preserved. It seems even harder to say that the entirety of it can still exist as if nothing really changes except for the loss of a physical form (i.e. traditional ghosts). Who knows though. I mean, I believe in reincarnation, but not in a literal simplistic manner (I don't think you die and then wake up a squirrel). It just goes back to conservation of energy, when our physical form cannot sustain itself any longer, it breaks down, and that energy has to go somewhere. And I suppose somehow it can retain tiny glimpses of memories of its past forms. I get deja vu a lot, have dreams that seem weird (just like random weird, nothing particularly interesting, so I don't even think about them) and then later they happen, and at times I feel like I was someone else or have some connection to something that I don't. So who knows. Time and space are both relative. Theoretically, there's no reason time moves "forward" instead of "backward." Similarly, there's no physical explanation for why time seems to move in a direction at all (we should technically be able to move through time in the same way we move through space). Our minds are just somehow limited to being able to perceive the full reality of whatever time and space actually are.
  2. That's pretty creepy not going to lie! I'm pretty sure there's a ghost in my apartment building. But he doesn't really do much, hasn't done anything scary, and seems to come and go. Things just randomly turn on or get knocked off shelves. And sometimes things go missing only to randomly appear back where they belong. Keith was looking for a specific book and asked me where it was. We have a huge book shelf (one of those Ikea 4x4 Expedits), and I organize the books by subject and then alphabetically by author's last name (I am incredibly OCD and organized). The bookshelf is made up of little square sections so it's really easy to find stuff (each section has like 16-20 books). Keith was looking for Heart of Darkness (by Joseph Conrad), which is supposed to be on the very top left square. So I told Keith and he said it wasn't there. So then I, assuming he's blind, looked there, but didn't find it. So I then searched through every single book on the entire bookshelf twice and couldn't find it. I also rechecked the square it was supposed to be in at least 4 or 5 times. I then concluded that he had to have taken it to work and left it there. Well, 20 minutes later, Keith was like "uh, Heart of Darkness is on the top left shelf," and sure enough, it was, in plain sight. You literally could not miss it. There is absolutely no way I didn't see it in the exact spot I was looking for it (again a pretty small square with only about 16 books on it). I swear, it had to have been moved and put back, but obviously neither Keith or I did it. Several times different Tolstoy books have been pulled out of the bookshelf (still on the shelf, but sticking halfway out). It happens several times and it's always the same few books (War and Peace and The Death of Ivan Ilyich). A few times my cat was randomly obsessed with War and Peace by Tolstoy. He would not stop sniffing it like it smelled like another animal or something and then started licking it. It was so weird, I have no idea what could have been on that book that seemed so appealing to him. On another occasion my 1920's Underwood typewriter flew off of the shelf it was on and landed across the room. It was pushed really far back on the shelf, nowhere near being able to fall off. Even weirder, it is surrounded by knick knacks and all kinds of stuff that are easily knocked over, yet none of them were touched/moved. It has so much stuff around it that it would literally have to be pulled out perfectly straight to not knock anything else down. Anyways, Keith blamed the cat, but he was on the other side of the room with me when it happened. A few weeks ago I saw a mason jar that was lying on it's side on my coffee table somehow turn right-side up. Like it literally just picked itself up on it's own. I kind of freaked out for a second, but again, since nothing actually scary has happened I let it go. My TV constantly turns on in the middle of the night. Like it probably happens once every week or so. And when it does, it will keep turning on several times throughout the night. I also just have a general feeling sometimes that someone is in the room watching me. It's not all the time, which makes me thinks the ghost wanders into other units in our building. And I don't feel worried/scared, I just feel like someone is there. So that also makes me think he's not really trying to fuck with us or anything. I'm pretty convinced he's a writer or just likes literature and is from the early 20th century considering: The Death of Ivan Ilyich (one of the books that keeps getting pulled out) was published in 1886 War and Peace (another one of the books that keeps getting pulled out) was published in 1869 Heart of Darkness was published in 1899 And my typewriter is an early 1920's era Underwood. Oh and I believe our building was built in 1928. I'm not sure what was here before that though.
  3. I saw Oblivion a few weeks ago and I definitely agree. I was surprised how good it was. Last Movie I Watched: Star Trek Into Darkness. SO good!
  4. Good luck! Bribe friends to help, that usually makes it a bit better. Moving always sucks, especially in the hot/humid southern summer, I've been there. The worst was when Keith and I had to move all of our stuff from Nashville to Brooklyn. We drove a U-Haul for 15-16 hours straight and when we got to NY they were having a crazy heat wave and the entire city was sold out of air conditioners (so much so that you couldn't even order an AC from Lowes, Home Depot, Etc online because they wouldn't send them to New York). I had to have my mom buy one in Vegas and mail it to me.
  5. Ohh I still have to see that! I'm seeing the midnight premiere of Star Trek tonight, pretty pumped about that! Sorry you're exhausted. Moving is always pretty miserable. How're things at Disney going?
  6. Thanks! I've been around, just not really posting over the last few weeks. Busy with exams and such I suppose. What's new?
  7. I've been avoiding the boards for whatever reason... Miss you guys though!
  8. Uhg I've tried so hard to be normal about this, but every night since I read G's post, in those last few minutes before I fall asleep, I've silently broken down. Fuck. I don't know why I keep crying about this. I completely accepted this months ago. I really have. And I totally get it. So what the hell.
  9. Same. I have unlimited hosting on Bluehost where I host all my sites. :]
  10. Oh my god yes! I was thinking about this last night actually. The easiest way to do it would be if they'd allow us to transfer the hosting, but I doubt that'd happen. Also, I actually don't think they'll necessarily go down because WBR undoubtedly has an unlimited hosting account, so adding additional sites themselves wouldn't cost a thing, the only cost is for the domain. Even so, I think it'd be best to try to back up the boards asap and have a forum ready to launch if these ones are ever taken down. I've set up and run forums before, but it would really be ideal if they would give us access to the backups or just transfer the hosting altogether. Not sure who we should talk to about this. I can never get in touch with Tina.
  11. It's ok, I went through a point where I neglected them a bit. I didn't get really into TBP when it came out, and I was just starting college so from about fall of 2007 until 2010 I was on sort of an MCR break. I think I was just mostly caught up in new experiences and didn't have enough time to sit, write, and listen to music like I did in high school (I went to boarding school and had a lot of alone time, but then once college started, because I was on the varsity soccer team and we were always traveling, I barely had enough time to think). Anyways, then I grabbed Danger Days when it came out, and at first I was like what in god's name is going on with them. But the more I listened to it, the more I realized that despite being way more "pop" and "dance" oriented than their earlier records, it was actually insanely punk and just so them (i.e. punk isn't about a sound or genre or labels, it's about the sentiment, and it's pretty punk as fuck when you can put out a very upbeat poppy dance-ish record that's so subversive). Anyways, I fucking loved it, and it made me actually go back and give TBP a good listen (I never gave it too much of a chance because I was still content with Bullets and Three Cheers and I wasn't crazy about WTTBP when it first came out), and aside from still not being crazy about WTTBP, that album is, in my opinion, probably their best put together album (i.e. as a whole). Yea, I think there's got to be some significant reason why that goodbye is what we have so far. They may be dealing with a lot of stuff right now (especially considering the legal issues with the label and the likelihood of internal band turmoil being a factor). I mean, I have no doubt they're all bound by some kind of non-disclosure agreement right now. And maybe whatever brought them down is too upsetting and overshadowing all the good times for them to feel like they can write out a proper goodbye. Hell, maybe they aren't on good terms with one another and are letting things calm down so that they can actually write a goodbye together (rather than one of them just writing it and speaking for the whole group). Or it's possible that the statement wasn't made by them (which I think is most likely), and they're waiting until either they're allowed to say something or until they can say what they want to say on their own terms. In any case, I think it will come in time after the smoke clears and the dust settles.
  12. Yea, I wouldn't take it to mean anything, I really doubt they wrote it, and I have reason to believe there is a conflict with the label right now that's the real cause of the information block. And even if they did write it and are choosing not to say anything, I still wouldn't take it to mean they don't appreciate us. Basically, either they can't give the goodbye they really want to give and can't let us know what's up, or they are choosing not to and have their reasons. Whatever the reasoning is behind that post, I have no doubt they really care about and appreciate their fans. That's essentially what I was trying to say yesterday and people seemed to take it really personally and got all butthurt about it. You know, yea, some kind of elaborate "break up" and hoax is totally something they'd do, but that just isn't the case here. They're broken up, for all intents and purposes, for good. The lack of information (i.e. people not being able to talk about it just yet) is indicative that this is final. I have decent access to info, and when that source wasn't able to answer my questions several months ago, I knew what that meant. There's a reason they said it was over and didn't try to pass this off as a break or hiatus. People just completely misconstrued various statements saying they were "excited for their futures" as meaning they knew what those futures were and that the band was still together (when they didn't and were just wishing them well). It's fairly apparent that they all plan on continuing with music, just in various directions (though as we've seen, some of them will likely continue to collaborate). And it's really not impossible for them to reunite at some point in the (relatively distant) future, but it's not something I'd count on or sit around waiting for. Totally agree, this sounds like a great idea. I wrote up a pretty long recap of their very last show (Bamboozle, May 2012). You can check it out here. I knew there was a reason I paid for those overpriced Bamboozle tickets and took the train out to NJ... And I've probably posted this shot 100 times, but it's one of my favorite photos I've taken, and it was one of the first shows I ever shot. And along the lines of me being relatively defensive of them when fans were getting angry saying the band "owed" them more (really just when I was pointing out that they've given us a lot and have always been really dedicated to their fans), it's really just that even if they had just given me the music, they'd have given me a lot, but on top of that, they have always been so fucking cool to me when they didn't have to. I know some people in the past have said that they're really not nice and it's just an act for fans, but honestly, even if that's true, I really don't care. The fact that they make an effort to act nice and appreciative toward fans says a lot. I saw G at NYCC this past October and even though I was awkward (read quiet) and dumb, he was insanely nice. He could have easily said "cool ok bye" and blown me off (hell that's what I'd probably do after a certain point of never being able to be left alone), but instead he asked my name, and made an effort to actually converse with me. Whether he genuinely gave a shit or not really doesn't matter, because at the very least, he acted like he gave a shit, and I walked away feeling good. Oh and he signed my vinyl copy of Danger Days! I didn't even have to ask, and I mean, like I said, he could have just walked away, or just signed it and left, but instead he was totally personable, engaging, and nice. Maybe I give people too much credit because I'm an asshole, but like, I think the little things (like asking how to spell my name so he could make it out to me and driving conversation when I was being quiet/awkward) are really indicative of what a person is really like. I know they give a shit about their fans, regardless of that statement or whatever the hell is going on. This can't be said enough.
  13. Exactly what I've been trying to say all evening. I actually recently read an article in a medical journal about new genetic research that suggests that Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Autism, Depression, and ADHD were actually all just different physical manifestations of the same neurological disorder (caused by the same combinations of genes) that affects how our minds process information. It actually makes a lot of sense considering how much overlap there is between all of them. At times they can look quite similar to one another and they each vary wildly even within themselves (ex. even autism doesn't accurately describe a single disorder, and those affected vary from high-functioning individuals with personality quirks to those who's development is far more obstructed by it). This.
  14. I wouldn't say it makes me tired. It just doesn't affect your energy level in the same way it does for most people. Like, in the morning, I can't function without caffeine, and really need it to get going. But if I drink it at night, I can still go to bed without issue. I also lose focus and energy way worse in the late afternoon and early evening, so it might have to do with that. And with all that said, I have really bad insomnia and struggle to sleep on a normal sleep schedule. ADHD is really linked with sleep dissorders too, so it might have to do with that or it might have to do with the fact that ADHD meds can also cause insomnia (though I was an insomniac long before I started taking meds).
  15. Bleh, catching up for the last 2 weeks... Caffeine pills are neither speed nor narcotics. They're stimulants, so they do raise your heart rate, and a caffeine overdose could cause heart problems. The effect is actually cardiac arrest, not a heart attack. It's usually only dangerous for people with underlying conditions (i.e. when you hear those cases of kids drinking several energy drinks and going into cardiac arrest, almost all of them already had a heart condition). Narcotics are totally different and are not sold over the counter. Not only do you need a prescription, but you can only get one months supply at a time. They're also stimulants and can cause heart problems in the same way caffeine can (increased heart rate leading to cardiac arrest). It can also increase your blood pressure leading to stroke (again though, that's usually if you already have an underlying condition, namely high blood pressure). Drugs like adderall are essentially speed and is a narcotic (amphetamine salts, methamphetamine). It was heavily prescribed and even advertised in the 50's as a way to pick up your mood, have more energy, and help with weight loss (though it still required a doctor's prescription). It is also incredibly addictive, especially if abused. And obviously now it's primarily prescribed for ADHD, and a lot of people w/out ADHD (or a prescription) use it as a way to stay up late and as a study aid. I'm not sure how it actually affects people w/out ADHD, though from what I've seen, they end up getting way more hyper. Anyways, I have ADHD and take it regularly, and all it does for me is making me feel relatively normal and in the present. Otherwise I day dream, lose chunks of time, and go back and forth between feeling totally exhausted and cloudy and overly hyperactive and unable to focus because my thoughts take me in a million different directions. Also, in terms of herbal remedies, ginkgo biloba is supposed to help with mental function. Now this is an interesting one. Caffeine is actually really two-fold for me. I can't speak for all people with ADHD, but you are right in that it can completely knock me out. I can drink 4 shots of espresso and immediately go to sleep. Also, caffeine never makes me hyper. Withthatsaid, I cannot function in the morning without caffeine (and that was also true before I took mediation for my ADHD). Oh hey, I have white ink tattoos! What happa?! Not with MCR, but with the being disowned thing. You're not disowned to me :[ MCRmy is for fucking life.